The Noise Of Sh!T
The Noise Of Sh!T - Chorus
They tried to burn me alive
But what they failed to realise
Is that I weaponised their fire
I became the flames
Anger fuelled me like gasoline
A rebellion exploded in my mind
I purged their poison from my veins
I've had enough of these games
This is the chorus to a song I wrote with a Canadian musician and researcher about my trans narrative. The chapters of my identity journey unfolded with a repeated theme: death of my old self and the rebirth of a new self. These lyrics not only apply to my TGD story, but in any moment where a sense of helplessness and hopelessness is felt. I'm never completely powerless; I just need to unleash the beast (i.e., fighting spirit).
There is scarcity of BIPOC x TGD x Queer x Autistic/Disabled representation, particularly in mainstream media. Besides this, trans men are often underrepresented. Once I created my own representation, I started seeing myself, which has been powerful.
I'll leave you with two trains of thought.
You don't need to be a professional at a creative medium to tell your story. I came into this project lacking musical instrument skills and how to structure a song, but through collaboration, it's been done. Your first draft or first attempt at something is perfect because you gave it life; it exists. However rudimental, it is the birth of something new; a basis which you elevate from. A first attempt isn't the final attempt (unless you make that choice).
Deep in your bones, you know your story, whether you consciously recognise it or not. It may be buried under layers of suppression, trauma or denial, but it exists inside of you. To connect, or reconnect with yourself, stories and truths need to be unearthed and told. If no one else, at least to yourself.