Transitioning: 5 Years On

2019 (pre-transition): Within this person lies a boy imprisoned by the cis-tem; lost, disconnected and drowning in hopelessness. An intuition that screams, “Get on testosterone now!”. A conscious running from an undeniable truth. A chest he wished he was never born with; it didn't belong. Internalised transphobia drowns him, suffocating every breath he tries to take. He's afraid and silenced, but refuses to continue living this way. This is a boy who faces a difficult journey to unearth and reconnect with his core identity. 

2025 (now): This is a victorious man: identity integrated and healed from bullshit. He is a veteran in the war against being erased and silenced. Shame and guilt about identity is no more. Imposed narratives have been eliminated with the rage in his blood. He was set on fire, left to die. Yet, they were not aware he'd become one with the fire, turning the tables. He can no longer be caged. The threatened one has become the threat. 

To my fellow BIPOC, queer, TGD, neurodivergent, disabled humans out there: I see you. You're not illegal. Identity erasure through abuse of power is illegal. You have permission to not only exist, but reclaim your space, your body, your identity. You're not “too much”. The “normal” world feels threatened by you; they are scared of your power. The power to defy, resist and be different. The power to say “fuck you” to imposed ideals and create your own. The power to be authentic in a society plagued by disconnect, masking and duplicates. Now, onwards to unleash the beast; destroy the shackles and let it guide you.