Cafés & Writing

Ever since my solo trip to Canada, I've incorporated a new activity into my routine: visiting cafes and writing. It combines exploration, experiencing different vibes, tasting various drinks and creative expression. I went to cafes everyday overseas, realizing how infrequently I do it back home.

Besides this, it’s socially freeing to go on solo dates; visiting cafes is one such activity I love. It’s a means of reinforcing autistic unmasking: no social expectations to perform/act in expected ways, engaging in activities of genuine interest to me, pacing myself according to regulation needs, pausing and stopping where required without pressure, no fake smiles or superficial conversations, leaving overstimulation environments without question etc. It is a healing and regenerative practice for me.

Through solo outings, I also challenge misguided, subconscious beliefs in my mind that I need to wait. Wait for calendars to align, finding that “one day” to meet up. Wait for that road trip. Wait until I have people to go with. “Save it” as the romantic opportunity to go out when dating. Save it for later on. A cycle of waiting and “saving it” for the perfect time. But one thing became clear. There will never be a perfect time if I never make time for it. The bungee jumping I did in Montréal? That was spontaneous and I signed up on the spot. The new horror movie coming out to cinemas I’ve had my eyes on? I watched it on the day it was released. A unique menu item at the cafe that grabs my attention? I’ll take one. The list is endless.

Don’t wait. Just go for it because when the opportunity ceases and there’s no going back, all that remains is regret.