Peace With Life's Uncertainty

My birthday recently passed, and for the first time in years, I didn't organise a celebration for it. I didn't plan elaborate road trips or overwhelming social gatherings. I asked myself: What do you want, devoid of any social expectations? The answer: Do nothing productive. Slow down to exist. Listen to my intuition. Go out solo. I trust myself.

I'm learning to radically accept the impermanence of life. To divorce the ideas and beliefs that something is forever. Having a death grip implies that I'm caged, prohibited from outgrowing the old me. That I must remain constant, unchanged, to fulfil the status quo. Despite its discomforts, growth and change is necessary, both within ourselves and the world.

Versions of me are impermanent due to constant self-discovery, healing and evolution. I used to live as a woman and now I'm unrecognisable to those who used to know me. I've been on testosterone injections (HRT) for 5 years. I've overcome depression and anxiety, but late-diagnosed as autistic. I've found home in my own body instead of despising it. I've changed my name, formed a new identity. I've experienced toxic romantic relationships and dealt with heartbreak. I've survived transphobic organisations. I'm more confident in unmasking, filtering out people who don't respect that. I've healed my intuition so it can correctly guide me; I no longer fight it. This is not exhaustive.

At 28, my definitive career path is non-existent. I feel no shame in not knowing because I’m yet to continue exploring, learning and saying yes to novel opportunities. I’m currently writing my second novella (psychological horror - choose your own adventure). I’m studying a course in education support. I’m still working in mental health. I host and produce a podcast. I’m in a public speaking bureau. I’m drafting a short film trilogy. I’m a co-resarcher in TGD research. I refuse to be chained by one thing. I’m open to limitless paths in life.